I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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