this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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