She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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