Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
