I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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