you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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