So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just invented taco cereal.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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