Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
