i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
