So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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