At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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