i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
