There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
