Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
