He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
