ya dads aren't the best wingmen
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
