Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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