He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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