so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
