so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
