You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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