is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
