Sry I called you an 8
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
