you guys were way drunker than both of me
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
