we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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