I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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