yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
