So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
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Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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