Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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