Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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