i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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