If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
there is glitter all over my balls
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