i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
