woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
