Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
