I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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