I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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