I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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