She just used a chaser for red wine.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!