I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime