R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
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shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
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I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?