I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize