i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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