Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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