Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
