Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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