I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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