We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
