Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
