well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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