She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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