i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't turn off my feet"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
