it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
