I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
