Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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