apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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