end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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