So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
