I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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