Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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