shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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