a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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