We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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