I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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