Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
