I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
