I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Two words: blizzard sex
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
