so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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