you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
